Finding Harmony: A Personal Reflection on Hatori Sohma from Fruits Basket
- Nga Nguyen
- Oct 8
- 11 min read
Fruits Basket originally is a manga series published by mangaka Natsuki Takaya from July 1998 through November 2006. Until 2001, Studio Deen established the first anime adapation of Fruits Basket. After 18 years, TMS Entertainment released the Fruits Basket anime series 2019 adapation. Tohru, a struggling orphan girl who soon moves in the Sohma house with Yuki, Kyo, and Shigure. She soon learns about the Sohma curse that turns the family members of the Sohma family into the twelve animals of the Chinese zodiac. Throughout the show, she shows unconditional love and kindness to everyone, including her classmates at school, proving that she can help resolve the troubles and struggles of the Sohma family. It is much more than a popular Shoujo and Slice of Life anime series. It explores human emotions and relationships. It truly portrays profound human struggles, such as trauma, family separation, ostracization, self esteem issues, and etc. In this post, I will focus on Hatori Sohma, the family doctor within the Sohma clan and explore his character, sharing how his story resonates with my personal journey.
Understanding Hatori Sohma
More than just a physician, Hatori's role is as a caretaker. In Season 1 Episode 6, Tohru Honda meets him and Momiji at the school festival. He prioritzes the needs of others over his own; for example, he checks on Kyo and Yuki during the school festival. His observant attitude and calm presence is a source of support, especially to his friends Shigure and Ayame. He is one of the three members of the Three Musketeers Arc. Shigure describes him as "a man who loves too deeply but is afraid to love someone else or thinks he has no choice at loving". He admires Ayame because his friend is flamboyant and openly affectionate, strengthening their friendship despite they are polar opposites. He frequently seen with Momiji, who is the year of the rabbit, and takes care of him as a secondary parental figure.
In Season 1 Episode 7, he accidentally hugs Tohru because he protected her from falling down. He then transforms into a seahorse which correlates with he is the Year of the Dragon.
Hatori's past reveals profound loss and self-sacrifice. His first love, Kana, asked Akito to marry him. It resulted in a painful injury to his face and her mental meltdown. He makes the heartbreaking decision to erase her memories of him (suppression of memories) to spare her from the pain of knowing the Sohma curse. This selfless act highlights the emotional hardship he bears - permanent separation from her. The weight of such choices is a feeling many can relate to, especially those who have faced difficult decisions in their lives.
For me, I fell in love with a man of high fame and social status. He was desperate for external love (my love). I wanted him to be happy and to return back to his life without me, so I let him go because he had suffered too much for me. It was difficult decision for me to make, yet it was necessary for both of our happiness. A survey by the American Psychological Association indicated that almost 38% of adults have made major life sacrifices, stressing the emotional and psychological toll those sacrifices can take.
The Weight of Taking Responsibility of Others
Hatori always blamed himself for Kana's suffering and trauma. He assumes it is all his fault despite she told him that the mistake was hers. He took responsibility of her sadness and despair which can lead to isolation, a feeling I often relate to in my own life. Even though it was never his responsibility to begin with. He felt guilt and shame for being Kana's lover that to the extent, he is willing to erase all of her memories of him in order to protect her. Like Hatori, I’ve occasionally assumed the role of caretaker in my relationships in my childhood through adulthood. As an empath, it has been difficult, believing that my well-being is second to taking care of others' needs. It is because an empath is a person who feels our own and others' emotions and feelings so deeply that we sometimes forget to take care of our own needs first. Both Hatori and I desire to protect loved ones can become cumbersome, particularly when I neglect my own emotional health. That's when self-sabotage becomes an unhealthy pattern.
Since Hatori is a family doctor, I learn how important is it is for individuals who work in the health and social work industries to find a managable balance between self-care for ourselves and caring others' needs. For those interested in psychology, studies show that people who practice self-care and self-compassion report 50% higher levels of life satisfaction and healthier relationships. As someone who is highly interested in psychology, Hatori reflects the human struggle of understanding self-responsibility. This year I recently learn that I am only responsible for myself (my thoughts, my emotions, my feelings, and my behaviors) and no one else. Just like Hatori, we both sacrifice ourselves for protecting our loved ones' happiness while not meeting our own needs. This insight is valuable for anyone who experiences self-love and empathetic love towards other people.
The Complexity of Love and Loss
Hatori always seen Kana as his first love despite he had to erase his precious memories from her through suppression. They cared each other, signifying how panic she was when she first found out Hatori's zodiac form as a seahorse and did not know whether to get freshwater or saltwater. She even commented his form was very cute, resulting in a blushed Hatori. Overall, his relationship with Kana beautifully illustrated the multifaceted nature of love and loss. Their genuine connection had a big obstacle which was Akito's disapproval of them getting engaged and the curse they faced. Ultimately, his choice to erase Kana’s memories speaks a high volume in his decision-making ability.
Later in Episode 7, he walks with Tohru in the park and sees Kana with her friends. Even if she does not see him, I love when she admits, "Come on, him not loving me back doesn't change the fact that he was my dream man." The interpretation is Kana did loved Hatori a lot but she did the healing and has moved on with acceptance that their relationship did not work out as they wish. I particularly love this scene because her honesty captures Hatori's heart and he smiles when he hears that she is getting married. Hatori is happy not only that her happiness is being fulfilled but also she is a relationship where she is loved and accepted for who she is. I relate to this scene so much in my current life situation in terms of wanting the person I have loved to be happy.
I, too, have faced emotional challenges similar to Hatori’s. It was a love that couldn't withstand both internal and external pressures, I've come to realize that every relationship whether it is familiar or distant; there will always be challenges depending on the context of the relationship. There was a clear difference in our social status and the gap was too much to bear in addition to we were too similiar personality wise that if we did had a romantic relationship, it would have been dangerous because we both were self-sacrificing for others' happiness. So, I knew right away based on following my gut feeling or intution, our romantic intentions for each other would not work out because we both had insecure attachment issues. In other words, we were not ready. We were not meant to be together because I chose to take my destiny in my hands instead of allowing some unknown universal force to create my Happily Ever After or do the work for me. Which I did not want to follow someone else's path that he carved out for me to follow. I always believed throughout my childhood. "There is no such thing as a perfect relationship that is flawless in this world." Every relationship had carried some risk of pain. To me, a healthy relationship looked like two partners work together to solve problems and go through life with mutual undertstanding/ love/ compromise. They both understand each other's needs and wants and take steps to meet together at the balance. Also, a big pointer is both partners work towards healthy communication skills. There is no vagueness.
According to a study published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, nearly 70% of adults have experienced a significant emotional loss, demonstrating that love is often intertwined with heartache. Hatori’s story serves as a reminder that if we reflect on how we make difficult choices for ourselves, there is plenty of room for self-growth and life fulfillment.
The Journey Towards Healing
As the story progresses, Hatori undergoes significant personal growth. He learns to face his past and embrace his emotions, particularly through his interactions with Tohru. She teaches him emotional vulnerability when he is in support circle, such as The Three Musketeers group he has always been a part of. Ayame and Shigure are his high school best friends. Their strong friendship conveys how much trust they have for each other, especially when one of them is struggling with personal trauma and wounds of the heart. This theme of healing is present in my own life. This year I want to confront my fears and struggles. Yes, I still have a long way to heal because I have a lot to learn in life. I believe a therapist is someone constantly learning about himself or herself in order to heal themselves but also find ways to give comfort and solutions to their patients. Hatori's gradual acceptance of his feelings without an absence of acknowledging them inspires me to embrace my own emotional intelligence. For example, speaking up for myself is a big thing for me this year. According to a 2020 report from the World Health Organization, acknowledging emotions and seeking support can reduce the effects of stress by nearly 40%. Healing is not a straight line, instead it is more of a doodle. But, with practice and patience with one's self (resist the urge to compare your healing journey with someone else's), I believe we all are capable of getting comfort and closure.
The Importance of Emotional Connections
Hatori had a conversation with his friend Shigure about relationships. At some point, Shigure asked sternly, "You think you have no second chance at falling in love, don't you? You feel you don't deserve a chcance in loving someone because you think it is all your fault that Kana suffered a mental breakdown." He replied with complete silence. Even though he is stoic, I think he truly wanted to nod to what his friend told him because it was the brutually honest truth. The subtext is either he still has underlying romantic feelings for Kana despite he let her go or he thinks he is not allowed to love anyone due to the Sohma curse and obey Akito's wishes. The fact he is willing to handle all of the responsibility for Kana being in an unsafe environment he had no control over is lonesome. He is replaying the unpleasant memories in the back of his head which is a trauma response. Individuals like Hatori including myself who lived their lives in isolation could be a form of self-punishment.
His friends Shigure and Ayame want Hatori to find love and hopefully get married to a caring, empathetic woman. They both respect his boundaries, such as giving him some time and space to grief about Kana. In my opinion, I think Hatori is in the finding alternatives stage of the grieving process. In Season 1 Episode 7, he asks Tohru one abstract-scientific question, which was: "When the snow melts, what will it become?" The obvious answer would be water if she takes the literal. When snow or ice reaches a warmer temperature; it will eventually melt into the liquid state - which is water. However, Tohru does not take this route. Instead, she answers the same answer that Kana gave him. She replies, "Spring. Spring will come."
Reflecting on Tohru's perspective, she is correct because the next season to winter is spring. It seems to me that both Kana and Tohru are two women who think the bigger picture. Their answers also says something about their personalities. They both offer so much unconditional love to the people they care about. Hatori's facial expression at first is atonishment. He never expected someone besides Kana from the outside world to understand him at first glance. Someone who is willing to understand him without judgment. Because his first impression of Tohru was she was completely clueless and naive to how serious the Sohma curse is. And the fact is she is completely a different person than what he originally assumed, he didn't say anything. Looking at his nonverbal body language, his mind was probably seeing parts of Kana in Tohru. The moment she said, "It must have been so lonely for you, Hatori." This small act of emotional vulnerability and sympathy shows how empathetic she is. She wants to give emotional comfort to him while respecting his boundaries.
Just like Hatori, a lot of people who care and love me had given me a shoulder to cry on. Some of my most difficult life experiences I still remembered those moments of sympathy they gave to me, taught me that I want to take steps to treat myself as a close friend or a family member. I did not want to listen to my inner critic voice. Because of what happened this year, I realized the importance of self-care in my life.
Hatori learns the value of connection throughout the series. Initially hesitant to open up, he discovers the strength that comes from leaning on others for support. This evolution carries an important lesson that I’ve come to grasp: vulnerability strengthens relationships and builds community.
In my life, I have battled the fear of showing vulnerability. Hatori’s journey motivates me to embrace openness with friends and family, knowing that connection fosters understanding and resilience. A study by the University of California found that individuals with a strong support system are 60% more likely to endure tough times with a positive outlook.
Moving Forward
Change is a dominant theme in Fruits Basket, and Hatori exemplifies the necessity of accepting life's fluctuations. He learns to adapt to evolving relationships and the realities of the Sohma curse. This acceptance paves the way for healing and personal growth.
His relationship with Mayu started out as acquitances who both cared for Kana's happiness. In fact, Mayu is one of Kana's closest friends. Because of his breakup with Kana, Mayu does not want to meet him because she was afraid of the idea of betraying her best friend or what if he rejects her. Throughout what had happened to him and Kana in the Sohma house as well as recovering from trauma from Akito, she cared about his safety and health. This compassionate act reaches his heart and he apperciates her thinking about him. He takes the initiative to meet with her at a cafe and talk him, allowing him to step out of his comfort zone. As time passes, they get to know each other better and eventually become a loving couple who looks out for one another.
In my life, change has frequently tested my resilience. Embracing change through these transitions has opened doors for new opportunities. Hatori's experiences remind me that change, while uncomfortable, often leads to positive growth. According to a survey from Gallup, nearly 75% of people who embrace change report increased personal development and satisfaction.
Final Thoughts
Hatori Sohma's journey mirrors many aspects of my own life, especially regarding balance, connection, and personal struggle. Some days I do need to remind myself to take care of my own needs before deciding whether or not to help others. As an empath, it is necessary to maintain a consistent balance between self-care and caring others' needs. Studies show that an absence of self-care leads to a higher possibility for burnout in individuals. The importance of emotional connections is essential for us human beings. I do believe in the phrase, "No matter how reserved or quiet we are, we need these connections with other people to keep us sane and living our lives as we want to."
How I see emotional connections is they are the people who support, love, and help us move forward in our lives. I think the more safe we feel in our support circle; the more opportunities the universe gives us to live in alignment with our goals, dreams, and authenticity. Emotional vulnerability and compassion are two things I seek in creating emotional connections since they are usually people who I find comfortable to be with or talk to.
In a hectic world, Hatori's calmness stands as a beacon of hope. His ability to navigate love and loss encourages us to confront our challenges with grace and understanding. Change is possible. Ultimately, Hatori's story illustrates the transformative power of vulnerability and the strength we gain from embracing our true selves.
Please enjoy watching this favorite AMV of Hatori and Mayu's journeys in meeting each other~!
San. YouTube, YouTube, www.youtube.com/watch?v=YRT3xCIhKDY. Accessed 8 Oct. 2025.
Comments